STOP Saying These 7 Toxic Perfectionist Phrases To Be Successful

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I’ve had to remove these toxic perfectionist phrases from my vocabulary as a recovering perfectionist so that I could live the life of my dreams.

Some of these phrases are engrained in our everyday language so you might be surprised to find out that they are a BIG reason why you are stuck repeating your perfectionist cycles.

Recovering from perfectionism requires a deep mindset shift and you need to change the language you use because there is power in the words you speak.

The more you say/think these limiting beliefs such as ‘I’m not good enough’ and ‘I should’ve known better’, the more you reinforce them into your mindset.

As a Mindset and Productivity Coach for perfectionists, I’ve seen firsthand how damaging some of these phrases can be to my clients on their healing journey.

By consciously eliminating these toxic phrases from your vocabulary, you can break free from the perfectionist trap of procrastinating and burning out, and start reaching your full potential.

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Table of Contents

How do you know if you know if you’re a perfectionist?

Many people go through life on autopilot repeating the same cycles over and over again, never realising that their behaviour is triggered by perfectionism.

But not you…

Because I’m going to break down some of the common symptoms of perfectionism so that you can increase your self-awareness and break your toxic cycles.

So, you might be a perfectionist if you:

Go through cycles of go-go-go and burnout
Spend hours procrastinating on your high-stakes tasks
Have a big fear of failure so you don’t try new things unless you KNOW you will be instantly good at it
Tie your self-worth to your achievements so you hyper-fixate on climbing up the career ladder
Constantly feel like you need to prove yourself to other people
Never feel good enough no matter how hard you try

7 perfectionist phrases I REMOVED from my vocabulary as a recovering perfectionist

1. “I’m not good enough”

This is one of the most common limiting beliefs based on insecurity and is often the driving force behind toxic cycles.

It’s a statement designed to keep you stuck and in your comfort zone, never reaching your full potential because you’ll refuse to take risks and try new things.

I’ve found that this phrase often leads to self-sabotage, where you don’t even try because you’ve convinced yourself that failure is inevitable.

It eats away at your confidence until you’ll find yourself accepting way less than you deserve.

Say these affirmations instead:

I AM good enough
I CAN do this
I don’t need to prove myself to anyone
I am constantly growing and improving

2. “I don’t have the time”

Instead, I say, “It’s not a priority for me.”

All of a sudden, it puts things into perspective. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll find time to do the tasks you’ve been avoiding by using this simple reframe.

Basically, this phrase is an excuse that often masks deeper problems such as fear of failure, procrastination and poor time management.

Challenging this perfectionist phrase gives you the opportunity to evaluate whether the task you are avoiding aligns with your values or not. This gives you the chance to make an intentional choice about how you spend your time.

Say these affirmations instead:

I make time for what matters the most
I choose to invest my time wisely
I prioritise my tasks based on my values

3. “I can’t show anyone because it’s not finished yet”

Fear of failure and fear of judgement are common symptoms of perfectionism which leads many perfectionists to hide their work until they deem it is perfect.

But as you know, perfection doesn’t exist.

Hoarding your work prevents people from finding it and benefiting from your knowledge.

It’s selfish, really.

Imagine if the song you’re keeping hidden was the exact song that would help someone else feel less alone in the world. You never know how your contribution can help others.

Moreover, sharing your work gives you the opportunity to receive feedback and grow as a person.

I used to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders like it was a badge of honour. All it did was make me push people away and struggle for much longer.

Now, I ask for help, show my progress, and listen to feedback. I’ve learnt SO MUCH so quickly just by sharing my work with others and honestly, it gave me the motivation to keep writing these blog posts.

Say these affirmations instead:

Feedback helps me learn and develop
I am grateful for feedback because it means I can make progress
I can improve faster with collaboration and support

4. “I should’ve known better”

This is a self-blaming, shaming and regretful phrase. It doesn’t help you move forward and instead keeps you stuck in a negative cycle.

Most often perfectionists say this phrase when they are unable to meet their ridiculously unrealistic high standards.

If you find yourself saying this phrase, I recommend you acknowledge the shaming nature of this phrase and evaluate whether your goal or expectation was realistic.

Next time, say “how can I learn from this situation so that it doesn’t happen again?”.

This shift in mindset will encourage you to grow and develop resilience in the future.

Say these affirmations instead:

I forgive myself for making mistakes
Every mistake is an opportunity to learn
I love the fact that I am committed to growing as a person
I will set realistic but challenging goals

5. “I don’t want to be good enough, I want to be great”

I used to say this phrase ALL THE TIME. It was the thing that pushed me to overwork myself to burnout over and over again.

And let’s be real, It’s great to have high expectations and work hard towards your goals but if you are a perfectionist this mindset will BREAK you.

You will never be happy or fulfilled because there is always something more you could be doing to become this ‘great’ version of yourself.

It’s a complete myth that perfectionism is the same as the pursuit of excellence. Those are 2 different things!

If you strive for excellence, you can still maintain high standards without compromising your wellbeing.

Say these affirmations instead:

I aim for progress rather than perfection
I won’t let perfect be the enemy of good
I love my high ambition and I will balance it with self-care

6. “I work better under pressure anyway”

Do you really work better under pressure?

The tears, anxiety, lack of sleep, not being able to crack a joke, dead inside, caffeine-fueled demeanour you have says otherwise.

This phrase is used to justify procrastination, unnecessary stress and lower-quality work. It’s easier to claim that you work better under pressure than to admit you don’t know how to create a consistent and realistic productivity system.

Because if you knew how to do that, you would be able to produce higher-quality work without anxiety and burnout.

Say these affirmations instead:

I perform best when I manage my time effectively
I love myself too much to create unnecessary stress
Consistent effort helps me produce quality work without anxiety

7. “I’m so stupid”

This phrase erodes your self-image, self-worth and confidence. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re stupid and saying this phrase will keep you stuck repeating the same negative cycles.

Embracing a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset will help you recognise that everyone makes mistakes and that mistakes are NECESSARY for living a successful life.

Reframing your beliefs around your intelligence will help you take more risks and have a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Say these affirmations instead:

I am intelligent and capable
I trust in my abilities and judgement
Mistakes help me grow and evolve

What does it mean to be a recovering perfectionist?

Being a recovering perfectionist means you are aware of your perfectionist traits and you are on a dedicated healing journey to overcome your perfectionist tendencies.

So basically, you know what is going on and recognise how perfectionism has impacted your life but you are still discovering the most appropriate coping strategies that work for you.

For example, you’re actively doing a lot of mindset and behavioural work such as challenging your limiting beliefs and pushing through your self-doubt by trying something new.

It’s a steep learning curve but you’re excited and understand that it’s a continual journey

What’s the difference between being a recovering perfectionist and a recovered perfectionist?

Honestly, there is not much difference between a recovering perfectionist and a recovered perfectionist. However, the strict idea of being a recovered perfectionist means that you have completely overcome your perfectionist tendencies and no longer struggle with them AT ALL.

But we all know that is unrealistic…

I prefer to see ‘recovered perfectionists’ as people who have spent a great deal of work upgrading their mindset and behaviour so that perfectionism doesn’t rule their lives.

For example, managing triggers, not burning out, overcoming procrastination and using mindful productivity techniques to achieve their goals.

So honestly, it is up to you how you would like to describe yourself because, at the end of the day, healing is a JOURNEY.

No one and I mean absolutely NO ONE ever reaches a point where they are completely healed.

That is the beauty of life, we always have something to work on.

I, myself, bounce around between saying I’m a recovered perfectionist, recovering perfectionist, healing perfectionist and mindful perfectionist. It just depends on what flows better at the time.

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

So as you know, I am a Mindset and Productivity Coach for perfectionists and pretty much this whole blog is dedicated to helping perfectionists become better more productive, healthier versions of themselves.

So trust me when I say, HEALING IS HARD.

Even as someone who is highly self-aware of about my own perfectionism and has done the work to heal it, even I sometimes find myself slipping back into the trap.

For example, when I started this blog back in 2023, I had to push through my feelings of failure and self-doubt just to write the first blog post.

Those toxic perfectionist phrases kept coming up in my mind and I had to KEEP reframing those thoughts to more positive versions.

It was a challenge but I didn’t let my perfectionism hold me back. In fact, I wrote a blog post explaining my thought process at my 1 month blogging anniversary.

So if I can do it, so can you.

Take it one step at a time, celebrate each win and be kind to yourself.

If you would like to hear more real-life examples about how I manage my own perfectionism (TO THIS DAY!), receive realistic self-development tips and be the first to hear about exclusive offers, join The Sunday Reset newsletter.

Book recommendations for starting your healing journey

The body keeps the score by Bessel van der Kolk
Atomic Habits by James Clear
7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Nonviolent communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

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STOP Saying These 7 Toxic Perfectionist Phrases To Be Successful