How to let go of productivity shame and live your best life
It’s time to let go of productivity shame and actually take steps towards achieving your goals without feeling bad.
I know how isolating it can feel to be caught up in a shame cycle because you’ve wasted another day procrastinating by doom-scrolling on social media. You have big goals but for some reason, you bounce between 2 ends of the productivity spectrum: overworking yourself to burnout OR procrastinating. There’s no middle ground, just all-or-nothing.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Productivity shame is something that a lot of my perfectionist clients suffer from because they never feel good enough and have a big fear of failure.
It’s also something that I experienced for many years before I took the steps to heal my perfectionism and adopt a values-driven mindful productivity system.
So trust me, I know how horrible it feels. That feeling of shame when you realise you should’ve tried harder, should’ve done more and shouldn’t have clicked next episode on Netflix.
I don’t wish that feeling on anyone.
Luckily, I found a solution that works not only for me but for my clients too! In this blog post, I will go over some of the quick ways you can let go of your productivity shame.
So, what is productivity shame?
Productivity shame is when you feel bad for not being productive enough or not meeting your own or society’s expectations of productivity.
For high-achieving perfectionists, you might find yourself working harder than everybody else but yet still feeling like you’re not doing enough. You’re the first one in and the last one out of the office but yet you still feel unproductive.
Maybe you have the workload of multiple people and even though you KNOW it’s unrealistic for you to complete all of the tasks on your to-do list you still feel like a failure.
Perhaps, you feel guilty whenever you do activities for your own enjoyment and wellbeing (i.e. spending time with your friends) because you think about all the work you could be doing.
I know a lot of us think that shaming ourselves to do more will make us more productive, however, the opposite is true.
Shame keeps you STUCK.
Shame doesn’t motivate you or promote discipline. It makes you want to avoid, blame and self-sabotage all because you tie your self-worth to your achievements.
Signs you have productivity shame
- Setting impossibly high standards for yourself and beating yourself up for not achieving them
- Constantly comparing yourself to others
- Feeling like breaks are a waste of time
- Overcommitting to too many tasks or responsibilities and feeling overwhelmed
- Regularly procrastinating due to fear of failure
- You go through cycles of go-go-go and burnout
- Finding it challenging to relax and prioritise self-care
- You never feel good enough
- Constructive feedback feels like a personal attack
Related Post: How to be productive every day – 13 ESSENTIAL mindset shifts!
3 things you can do to heal your perfectionist productivity shame
1. Untangle your self-worth from your achievements
Yes, I know this is a lot easier said than done BUT it is honestly the best way to truly release your productivity shame for good.
Realising that your worth and value as a human being have nothing to do with the things you accomplish is a liberating experience.
You’ll be able to work hard on tasks without burning out because you value yourself and set boundaries with other people. No more overworking, no more people-pleasing and definitely no more burnout.
I spent the majority of my life basing my worth on my education and career.
I couldn’t go to any university, I HAD to go to a Russell Group uni because it meant that I was good enough.
I felt like crap when I finished my bachelor’s degree because I only got a low 2:1 rather than a 1st.
So instead of celebrating my achievement, I forced myself to go on and create the WORST year of my life: studying for a master’s degree while working 2 jobs but I got a distinction so it was worth it, right?
Right?
And after graduating, I couldn’t have any job. I needed a PROPER career, like being a Project Manager – that had status.
No grade, no job title, and no achievement were enough for me to feel good enough. There was ALWAYS something else I could be doing.
ALWAYS.
It was only when I shifted my mindset from a goals-driven life to a values-driven life everything changed.
I realised that if I continued on the path I was going down, I’d probably have a mental breakdown by 40 or I’d die of a heart attack by 50. My life would always feel like a sacrifice for an imaginary future where I’d finally be happy.
Untangling your self-worth from your achievements and living a values-driven life means that you can enjoy the present while still being intentional about your goals.
It requires self-awareness, self-trust and self-compassion. You can start the process now by downloading my FREE Values Over Perfection workbook.
Related Post: Start living a values based life to be successful
2. Set SMART(ER) goals
One of the defining traits perfectionists have is the ability to set super high unrealistic goals and then beat themselves up for not achieving them.
Are you guilty of this?
I know I am!
This is why I like to use the SMARTER framework when it comes to setting my quarterly and yearly goals. This framework fits right into my mindful productivity system and allows me to achieve more in less time without stress.
Instead of creating goals that aren’t in alignment with my values and then blaming myself for not being motivated to achieve them, I make sure I incorporate my values into the planning process.
Setting SMARTER goals requires a mindset shift for perfectionists. You need to think BEYOND the traditional goal-setting frameworks and embrace a holistic approach that incorporates your subconscious mind and wellbeing.
So what are SMARTER goals then?
- Specific: clearly define your goals, outcomes and actions
- Measurable: decide on your milestones
- Achievable: set goals that are challenging but achievable considering your current resources, skills and circumstances
- Relevant: align your goals to your values and long-term aspirations
- Time-bound: set deadlines and timeframes for achieving your goals.
- Empowering: increase your confidence and desire by visualising your success
- Reflective: incorporate regular reflection and time for course-correcting
If you’re a perfectionist, then I highly recommend you use the SMARTER goals framework when setting your goals. It’s an effective way to mitigate productivity shame and achieve greater balance and fulfilment.
Related Post: Empower your life: 27 journal prompts for goal-setting
3. Manage your energy and time
I talk about energy management a lot in my content because perfectionists NEED to incorporate it into their productivity system. You can have the prettiest, colour-coded time-blocked calendar but it means F all if you burn out. It will just add to the productivity shame you already feel.
Balancing your energy and time is an art that requires mindful attention. Instead of filling every minute of your day with tasks, you need to work with your body’s natural rhythms.
It’s about knowing when to push forward and when to rest. For example, if you know you’re an early bird, schedule your most mentally taxing tasks in the morning.
It’s about working WITH yourself instead of working against yourself. You need to find a way to balance your energy-boosting activities and must-do energy-draining activities in your schedule, focusing on quality not quantity.
Personally, I like to use my Energy Management Matrix and bullet journal to help me plan my week effectively.
By balancing energy and time management, you create a supportive framework that allows you to be productive within your energy limits. It also promotes realistic expectations, and self-compassion and encourages sustainable habit-building, reducing the likelihood of experiencing productivity shame.
Related Post: 5 energy management techniques to elevate your life
I hope you enjoyed these tips about releasing shame
If you’ve made it this far down the blog, then I might as well introduce myself!
Hey fellow perfectionist, my name is Teresa and I’m a Mindset and Productivity Coach. I specialise in working closely with high-achieving perfectionists, helping them untangle their self-worth from their achievements so they can be productive without burning out.
I’m a big believer in practicing what I preach, so everything I’ve talked about in this blog post are things I’ve actually done to release my productivity shame.
Healing is hard, and it took me many YEARS to figure out the process. This is why I’m dedicated to helping perfectionists heal faster than I ever could.
If you’re ready to stop going through cycles of go-go-go and burnout and reclaim your life drop a comment below, message me on Instagram or sign up for a discovery call.
Whatever you do, I’m here to help!
Recommended reading
- The gifts of imperfection by Brené Brown
- The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
