9 Realistic Ways To Have A Guilt-Free Self-Care Day

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It’s time to have a guilt-free self-care day so that you can recharge your busy mind!

I am always the first person preaching about self-care and wellbeing, I literally can’t shut up about it mainly because I used to neglect self-care in favour of hustle culture.

I thought self-care was a waste of time and a way to drag me further away from achieving my goals.

However, after experiencing burnout after burnout AFTER burnout I have now changed my tune (yes, it did take me a while to learn this lesson so please don’t be like me!).

Self-care is great! In fact, it is a necessary requirement for sustainable productivity.

As a Mindset and Productivity Coach for perfectionists, a lot of my work is tailored towards helping my clients incorporate self-care into their daily routine without feeling guilty about it.

In this blog post, I will be dispelling some common self-care myths and giving you practical tips on how to have a guilt-free shame-free self-care day.

This page might contain affiliate links. In the event of a sale, I will be awarded a small commission (at no extra cost to you).

What is self-care?

Self-care is all about looking after yourself, mind, body and soul.

According to Dictionary.com, self-care is ‘the act of attending to one’s physical or mental health, generally without medical or other professional consultation and the products or practices used to comfort or soothe oneself’

It is a highly intentional activity and isn’t something you stumble into. You need to choose to do things that prioritise your health, and happiness and recharge your energy so that you can live your life in a sustainable way.

Why is self-care important?

Well, self-care is important for many reasons such as improving your mental health, physical health and emotional wellbeing. When you fail to look after yourself properly things start going a lil bit cray-cray.

In my case, I start stuttering a lot, becoming forgetful, snapping at the people closest to me and most embarrassingly of all, becoming an emotionally volatile mess.

So here are some additional reasons why you should prioritise self-care:

No more burnout
You’ll be able to be productive consistently and achieve more in less time
Your mind will feel clearer and less foggy/fuzzy
Better connections with the people you care about
Improved management of mental health problems
You’ll learn how to trust yourself
Improved confidence
Better boundaries with self and others

Why do perfectionists feel guilty about self-care?

If you’re a perfectionist, you probably have an added layer of guilt when it comes to practising self-care.

Self-awareness is the first step to releasing guilt. So, you’re welcome!

Here are some reasons you are struggling:

You have extremely high standards for yourself and set goals that are unrealistic in the time that you have available. So you keep pushing yourself to work harder and longer in an attempt to achieve your goals

You have a shame wound when it comes to prioritising your wellbeing. Perhaps you were told that you have to work 10 times harder than everyone else because of your race, gender or some other quality

You’re absolutely terrified of making mistakes or not meeting your own standards so you avoid doing self-care activities because you’re scared of doing it wrong

You HATE losing control and don’t want to delegate your tasks to anyone else because you don’t want them to mess up everything you’ve worked hard for. So micromanage or overwork yourself leaving no time for self-care

Your all-or-nothing thinking means you struggle to find ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. If you can’t give 100% to self-care then there’s no point in doing it at all

You have no boundaries and people-please because you want validation from others. You want to be seen as someone who works hard and is a team player.

Common self-care lies you tell yourself

As I mentioned before: self-awareness is key!

In order to untangle your guilt from self-care, you need to counter the LIES you tell yourself daily. That’s the only way you’re going to move forward. Here is the cold hard truth:

‘Self-care is expensive’ – your definition of self-care is incorrect. Self-care is COMPLETELY FREE. You can go for a walk, call a friend, meditate, read a book from the library etc…

‘Self-care is a waste of time’ – do you know what is a waste of time? Spending months in bed because you burnt yourself out for the final time and now you have no energy to do ANYTHING. So does a self-care day sound like a waste of time now?

‘Self-care is selfish’ – you have poor boundaries and have neglected your needs for so long that you are unable to see yourself as someone worthy of love and compassion

‘I’ll do it later’ – you won’t, you’ll find another excuse later and the cycle will continue!

‘I’m too tired for self-care’ – self-care can actually boost your energy and improve your overall mood but you’d rather drain your energy doom-scrolling on social media

‘I don’t deserve self-care until I ticked off my to-do list’ – you need to realise that self-care is NOT a reward for productivity. It is an essential part of your productivity routine

‘Self-care is overindulgent’ – I truly believe self-care is about being honest with yourself regarding your needs, wants and desires. I don’t promote the kind of ‘Treat Yo Self’ self-care mentality because things can get out of hand quickly. Sometimes self-care is doing the things you’ve been avoiding and confronting the things weighing on your heart (e.g. looking at your bank account or having an awkward but necessary conversation!).

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9 easy steps for a self-care day WITHOUT guilt

1. Mentally prepare for it

The first step to having a self-care day is to mentally prepare for it. If you’re not used to putting yourself first it will feel like a foreign concept so I recommend you use a combination of affirmations and journaling to challenge your limiting beliefs.

Use these journal prompts to figure out your limiting beliefs around self-care and challenge them using the self-care myths I described earlier to help you

Why do I feel guilty about taking time for myself?
How does self-care help me feel better?
What messages did I receive about self-care growing up and how does it impact me today?
How can I show myself that I matter and I am worthy of being cared for?
How does self-care improve my relationships with others?
What is the worst thing that can happen if I neglect my self-care?
How does the ideal version of myself look after himself/herself?
Who do I know that practises healthy self-care and what can I learn from them?
What self-care lie stood out to me the most?

Take your time to sit down and journal using these prompts. Remember there are no right or wrong answers and the sooner you identify your limiting beliefs around self-care, the sooner you can start living your best life.

Next, start each day with one of these affirmations:

I deserve self-care
I am worthy of love and compassion
Looking after my mind, body and soul is essential
I will put myself first without feeling guilty
I love myself enough to prioritise myself

You can use these growth mindset affirmations, or come up with your own based on your journal prompt answers. Make sure your affirmations are in present tense, positive, and in first person.

2. Plan for it

Once you are in the right mindset for success you will then need to plan out your self-care activities for the day.

Your self-care day can be as big or as small as you want. Here’s how you can plan for it:

Set your self-care intentions: how do you want to feel at the end of the day? Do you want to feel relaxed, recharged, motivated, fulfilled, at ease or all of the above?
Choose your activities: based on your chosen emotion decide on an activity that meets your criteria.
Decide on a schedule: is this going to be a weekly, monthly or yearly occurrence (depending on the scale of your chosen activity)?
Pick a day: choose a day in your diary and BLOCK IT OFF. Treat this day as if you were going to have tea with the Queen – you wouldn’t dare reschedule it!
Prepare in advance: what supplies do you need? A book, bubble bath, time away from the kids? The more you prepare the less guilt you will feel

3. Budget for it

Think about how much your self-care day will cost. Remember, you don’t need to spend money to have a relaxing, enjoyable day; however, you may want to splurge a little bit if you’re booking a once-a-month/year type of self-care activity (e.g. going to a spa retreat).

I like to create a little self-care savings pot and my bank automatically rounds up any payments I make and puts the leftover change in my pot. This way I don’t need to use too much brain power organising my money.

You might decide to put a small percentage away each month or save specific coins (e.g. £2)

Either way, having a budget for self-care activities will soothe any guilt you may have.

4. Set boundaries

This bit might be the hardest step for perfectionists but it is something you MUST DO. You need to set boundaries and say no to other commitments that spill over into your self-care day.

I recommend all of my clients read the book ‘Nonviolent Communication’ by Marshall B Rosenberg because it is the best way to learn how to set clear, direct and empathetic boundaries with others.

That book changed my life. No joke.

Protecting your time is a form of self-care because you are literally reminding yourself that you matter. The more you do what you say you’re going to do, the more you start to trust yourself.

5. Handle interruptions and setbacks with grace

Life is incredibly unpredictable and sometimes things don’t go to plan no matter how hard you try to make it work. The trick is to develop a growth mindset and learn from challenges and obstacles that come up.

If your plans get interrupted, don’t beat yourself up or fall into negative thinking patterns. Just take a deep breath and calmly reassess your self-care plan.

Remember, self-care is not reserved for one day. It is something you do all the time throughout the day: it is how you speak to yourself, how you take care of your body, and how you show up for yourself even when things go wrong.

6. Reflect on your self-care day

Take some time to journal and reflect on how your self-care day went:

Did everything go to plan?
Did you learn something new?
What went well?
What didn’t go so well?
What would you do differently next time?
How do you feel?

Maybe you found out that you’re allergic to a certain type of bubble bath or maybe you just found out that you actually hate musicals and would rather go to the cinema.

Either way, now you know!

Try to see the funny side of these things.

7. Remember, this is your ONE LIFE.

THIS IS IT.

When it is all said and done, do you really want to look back on your life with regret about not enjoying the little things?

Find ways to incorporate self-care into your life on a daily basis.

For example, I try to go for a walk every single day no matter how busy or stressful my day has been because I know that even 5 minutes of walking in the fresh air makes me feel 10 times better.

Life is so beautiful. Choosing to spend time doing the things that make you feel whole and fulfilled is not something you should ever regret.

8 Types of Self-Care Activities

Despite what many people say, self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. You need to find the things and activities that work for you and make you feel good.

Just because one person loves massages, it doesn’t mean you have to love them.

For example, so many of my friends LOVE getting their false nails done and see it as an enjoyable self-care activity. Whereas, I have never had my nails done and I can’t think of anything worse than having acrylics on my nails.

It wouldn’t feel like self-care if I forced myself to do something that I genuinely didn’t want to do.

So you shouldn’t either.

Pick and choose from the tips and self-care activities in this list but don’t feel any pressure to follow them strictly, or at all.

Self-care is about YOU first and foremost.

Self-care in the 8 areas of your life:

Personal and spiritual:

Practice mindfulness
Pray
Journal
Listen to a guided visualisation
Read interesting books
Join a book club
Listen to a podcast
Create a vision board
Go to a meditation retreat
Practice affirmations
Have a lazy day
Write a gratitude list
Create a Pinterest mood board

Health and Fitness:

Go to a yoga class
Join a running club
Get a massage
Eat healthy meals
Get a good night’s sleep
Have a soothing Epsom salt bubble bath
Attend a cooking class
Join a salsa dancing group

Friends and family

Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
Have technology-free evenings
Host a dinner party
Give a big hug to the people you care about
Organise a games night
Create a fun tradition
Send a postcard

Career and business

Schedule a catch-up chat with a coworker
Stop working overtime
Reflect on your values
Set new career goals that align with your values
Celebrate your wins

Romantic relationships

Plan a solo date night
Find out your partner’s love map
Have a pillow fort movie night
Do a surprise gesture
Communicate your needs
Dress up in clothes that make you feel good

Financial health

Confront your bank account and stop avoiding it
Put a small amount into savings for a rainy day
Spending 5 minutes a day educating yourself on debt management

Fun and recreation

Going to a paint-and-sip night
Playing games with your friends
Gardening
Going to an escape room
Booking a weekend trip
Attending a local comedy night
Travel to a new place
Go to a concert
Be a tourist in your own city
Take pictures of things that mean a lot to you

Home organisation / physical environment

Blasting music while decluttering your bedroom
Decorating your room so it has more of your personality
Sticking affirmations and inspirational quotes on your wall
Opening all of the windows so you can FINALLY have some fresh air
Organising your bookshelf because it makes you feel good

What self-care activity are you going to schedule this week?

Hopefully, by now, you will have a much better mindset about having self-care days. You probably realise that self-care doesn’t have to be limited to one day and it honestly doesn’t have to be a Big Deal.

You can incorporate self-care into all areas of your life and do it without feeling guilty because, at the end of the day, burnout is not worth it. Trust me.

So take the day off, plan the holiday, and give yourself a bubble bath with no regrets!

Join the community of healing perfectionists

If you would like to receive productivity and self-development tips designed specifically for perfectionists PLUS exclusive coaching offers join my weekly newsletter ‘The Sunday Reset’.

Remember, you are the ONLY person you are going to be with for your whole entire life, so you might as well invest in yourself.

Investing in yourself can be in the form of coaching, courses, reading, journaling, practising self-care and many more things.

Book Recommendations

Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
How to do the work by Nicole Lepera
The body keeps the score by Bessel van der Kolk
Yoga and the Quest for the True Self by Stephen Cope
When the Body Say s No by Dr Gabor Maté