How to stop living life on autopilot

Spread the love

Table of Contents

This is the ultimate guide to help you stop living life on autopilot. Start living a happier, more intentional life using these tips!

It’s great that you have clicked on this article because it means 2 things:

You realise that you have drifted away from your true self
You want to change and live a more intentional values-driven life

Well, I’m happy to say you have come to the right place!

I used to be in your position. I was a high achiever constantly pushing myself to reach the next goal and the next rung on the career ladder hoping that one day I would be ‘successful’.

I thought if I crossed the T’s and dotted the I’s in life, I would be guaranteed happiness and fulfilment. Only to discover that none of those things ACTUALLY mattered in life! Or at least, they didn’t matter in the ways I thought they did.

I had somehow gone through life on autopilot by doing the ‘right’ things, the things you’re supposed to do to have a supposedly great life and I was so UNHAPPY. Not only was I unhappy, but I was incredibly soul-destroyingly BORED too.

Is this it? Is this life?

Some may call it an existential/quarter-life crisis, I like to call it a positive disintegration but you know, tomato – tomato.

I went on a mission to find out how to stop living life on autopilot and lucky for you I have compiled everything I know into this blog post!

What does living life on autopilot mean?

Put simply, it means that you go through the motions in life without reflecting on your decisions or your values. You’re just in automatic mode with the same habits and routines.

A lot of people assume that living life on autopilot means that you have no goals or ambitions but I can categorically say that ANYONE can be living on autopilot.

Including high achievers.

Some people are working towards goals that they set in secondary school when they were 15 years old. Goals that no longer apply to them but they just never stopped to consider any other options.

Some might even feel stuck in a life that they created. They know deep down that they want to do something different with their life but the thought of giving up the life they know so well is too much to bear. So they resign themselves to living a life they know inside out, stuck on autopilot because it’s safer.

Are you living life on autopilot?

Here are the top signs that you have put your life on cruise control and stopped holding the steering wheel:

You are stuck in a cycle of routines and habits
The days just fly by without any conscious awareness
You don’t feel like you are fully present in the current moment
You don’t take time to self-reflect and you lack self-awareness
You don’t allow yourself to FEEL your emotions
You jump from goal to goal without taking into account your core values
Your friends describe you as nonchalant or easy-going because you don’t share how you really feel
You feel empty and dissatisfied with life but don’t know how to change
You feel disconnected from your TRUE self
You can’t remember the last time you tried something new
You are constantly scrolling on social media and hours go by without you realising it
You don’t critically evaluate your goals or ambitions
You struggle to let go of old narratives about yourself
You respond to situations automatically using your default response
You avoid discomfort and prefer to stick to what you know

You might realise that only some parts of your life are on autopilot. For example, you’re very intentional about your career but you lack intentionality in your relationship with your partner, friends and/or family.

If you notice that you have even 1 or 2 of these symptoms then don’t worry it’s actually a good sign because the first step to changing your life is to first recognise there is a problem.

Step one is complete, well done!

8 reasons you should stop living life on autopilot and start being intentional

You only have one life
It is BORING living life on autopilot
Prevents an oncoming mid-life crisis
You will have more fun
You will achieve goals you ACTUALLY care about
Better for your mental health
Rediscover your passion and purpose
Have better more intentional relationships

I can list WAYYY more reasons to stop living life on autopilot but I want to help you get to the nitty gritty methods to help you begin your transformational journey.

Taking charge of your life requires conscious effort and a commitment to being more present and intentional in your actions. You need to increase your self-awareness and rediscover who you REALLY are.

But trust me, it is SO worth it because the benefits significantly outweigh the negatives!

What would you rather?

Feeling stuck in your current life knowing that nothing is going to change
Being more present and intentional in your life. Knowing that you are staying true to your core values and you are equipped with knowledge to handle the ups and downs of life

I KNOW you already know the answer to that question.

So, stay tuned for the step-by-step guide on how to ACTUALLY change your life!

7 ways to stop living life on autopilot and start living an intentional life

Here are 11 things you can do to start living a more intentional life and stop living life on autopilot mode.

Disclaimer: These tips are in no particular order HOWEVER I strongly recommend you identify your values first before you try any of the other tips in this list.

I’m so excited for you to start your journey!

So let’s begin.

1. Identify your values

In my opinion, this is the most important step to living a more intentional life because your values need to be your compass. If you skip this step you run the risk of drifting back into autopilot after the first few hurdles.

Values are your set of guiding principles and beliefs you have about yourself and the world. It is the reason behind your actions and helps you decide what is right and wrong.

Your values may differ from your friends and family but that is okay. You are your own person and the only way you are going to start living more intentionally is if you let go of other people’s expectations about how you should live your life.

Moreover, identifying your values will help you to begin your journey of self-awareness and help you to stop living life on autopilot. So think of it as practice and support for the remaining tips in this list.

In order to identify your values you need to ask yourself the following questions:

What makes me happy?
What is most important to me?
Who is important to me?
If I had unlimited money what would I do?
What would my ideal life look like?
What am I grateful for right now?
What accomplishments am I most proud of?
What can I talk about non-stop?
What makes me angry and why?
What do I wish I could be better at?
Who am I when no one is watching?
What factor takes priority when I am making a decision?
If I only had 1 year to live what would I do and who would I spend time with?
What do I want to get out of life and why?

Think about the key themes that come up when you answer these questions and then narrow it down into a keyword.

For example, values can be things like:

Family,
Companionship
Kindness
Integrity
Playfulness
Community
Exploration
Virtue
Growth
Health
Wellbeing

Plus many more!

Check out my FREE Core Values List containing 96 examples to help you! See below

Spend some time evaluating whether you are currently living a values-based life. Think about things you would like to spend more time doing and things you would like to spend less time doing.

Really hone in on each theme by asking yourself ‘why’.

For example, why is this important to me? Why am I passionate about this? Why do I feel excited when I think about this? Why do I want to change this?

By doing this you will start to increase your self-awareness and begin to stop living life on autopilot.

how to stop living life on autopilot SWOT analysis for personal development

2. SWOT Analysis to stop living life on autopilot

If you’re in the business world, you’ve probably heard a lot about SWOT analysis as it is a useful strategic planning tool to help you analyse your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. However, not many people consider using this great technique in their personal lives for self-reflection and development.

Now take a seat and divide a piece of paper into 4 quadrants.

In each quadrant write one of the following words: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

Identify your Strengths. Off the top of your head, write down all of your positive skills and attributes in life. Don’t be humble, be honest instead. Try to think about the compliments you have received in the past. For example, are you praised for your kindness or resilience or humour etc…?
Acknowledge your Weaknesses. This is not the time to start beating yourself up and writing a never-ending list of negative self-beliefs. Use this time to think about the areas in life you struggle with or lack skills in. Think about CONSTRUCTIVE feedback you have received from others but also remember to be critical with what criticism you take on board. Remember this saying: ‘Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t ask advice from’.
Recognise Opportunities. The beautiful thing about life is that there are LIMITLESS opportunities! There are so many different avenues you can take in life because there is no perfect way to live life. Think about the different opportunities available to you and acknowledge any changes in your life that you can leverage. For example, you’ve always wanted to try singing lessons and your friend has recently mentioned joining a class. Maybe you can tag along and experience something new!
Pinpoint Threats. Think about some factors in your life that are out of your control but could pose a threat (e.g. economic changes, personal circumstances, family dynamics, employment etc…). Jot down any obstacles and challenges you may face in your personal life. Remember, this isn’t the time to let your anxiety run free!

Once you have completed your personal SWOT analysis, you will need to put on your thinking cap to consider the following questions:

How can you capitalise on your strengths to take advantage of opportunities?
How can you turn your weaknesses into strengths?
With the weaknesses you can’t change, how can you stop them from getting worse?
What can you do to overcome potential threats? What safety net can you put into place?
How can you align your goals with your opportunities and values?

It will provide you with valuable insights into your personal development journey and help you to make informed decisions about your goals and priorities.

Remember, to regularly review, reflect and amend your SWOT analysis in alignment with your core values. If you apply these steps you will be able to stop living life on autopilot in no time!

how to stop living life on autopilot mindfulness and gratitude

3. Mindfulness and Gratitude

Being on autopilot means that you’re not being present in your life. You’re either letting life happen to you or you’re so focused on achieving the next goal on your list that you let life pass you by.

Either way, the antidote to those scenarios is acknowledging the present moment through mindfulness and practising gratitude.

Many psychological research studies have shown that mindfulness is an amazing strategy to cultivate a more conscious intentional life and improve wellbeing.

So what is mindfulness?

Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. You allow yourself to become aware of your thoughts, emotions, sensations and environment. As you become more mindful, you will also increase your self-awareness which in turn, will allow you to interrupt your autopilot patterns when they occur.

You can practise mindfulness in quite a few different ways. For example,

going for a walk in nature
Meditating for 5 minutes a day
Mindful eating
Mindful drawing
Mindful breathing
Body scan meditations
Mindful listening

The NHS Every Mind Matters website has helpful guided body scans and breathwork videos that can help you start your journey.

Why is gratitude important?

Gratitude is also heavily linked to improved wellbeing and values-based living. Being thankful for the things, people and opportunities in your life is a way to bring you back to the present moment and break the cycle of being on autopilot.

Through practising gratitude you will start to shift your perspective about life, noticing more positive attributes. It is a great way to break negative thinking patterns of feeling ‘stuck in autopilot’, instead you’ll start to focus on all of the LIMITLESS opportunities and AMAZING strengths you already have.

I recommend you start by writing down one thing you are grateful for every evening right before bed. It doesn’t need to be a complicated planner, it can literally be a plain notebook.

Once you have developed the routine of practising gratitude, evaluate how you feel and decide if it has made a difference in your life.

Then if you want to take it to the next level practice gratitude twice a day: morning and night.

I add it to my bullet journal daily log: in the morning, when I set my intentions for the day and in the evening when I provide a daily summary.

Together, mindfulness and gratitude will encourage you to be intentional and stop living life on autopilot. Instead of merely reacting to life’s circumstances, you become an active participant, making choices based on your values and priorities.

how to stop living life on autopilot - shift your mindset

4. Shift your mindset

To stop living life on autopilot mode you need to shift your mindset from ‘life happens to me’ to ‘I can change my life’.

There are numerous ways to do this from visualisation exercises, hypnotherapy and belief reprogramming. The key thing you need to remember in this transformational journey is the EMPOWERMENT FORMULA which is the idea that being at cause is GREATER than being at effect.

So to break it down even further:

Being at CAUSE involves:

Being proactive and taking initiative
Taking personal responsibility and ownership of your actions
High locus of control: the belief that you can control your outcomes
Being accountable
Being resilient
Having a curious mindset and a desire to learn new things

Whereas, being at EFFECT involves:

Being reactive
Not taking responsibility for your life
Low locus of control: the belief you have little control in your life
Lacking accountability
Giving up when things get hard
Not learning new things

In another blog post, I will go into detail about the Empowerment Formula and the various techniques (visualisation, hypnotherapy, guided affective imagery, NLP and belief reprogramming, CBT etc…) that you can use to shift your mindset and help you to stop living life on autopilot.

Ultimately, you have to realise that NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU!

You need to save yourself!

You need to take control and create the life that you want to live because no one is going to do it for you. Even if you hire a life coach, consultant or therapist, they can’t MAKE you change your life. You have to want to change in the first place. You have to believe that they can help you AND you also have to ENGAGE in the session and complete the homework.

Your mindset is everything.

Again, the fact that you are reading this blog post and you have made it this far down the list shows that you are ready to begin the change to transform and stop living life on autopilot.

how to stop living life on autopilot - Be curious - try something new

5. Be Curious

To stop living life on autopilot you need to be curious about life! It’s as simple as that.

You need to try something new

When you learn something new or have a new experience it is exciting and reinvigorating, isn’t it? You get that burst of energy and feel connected to the universe and yourself. It’s an amazing feeling when the adrenaline is running through your veins.

I find that the best way to interrupt my autopilot brain is to go on Meetup or Eventbrite and book a ticket to go to an interesting event. You never know who you might meet or what you might learn.

I should know!

For example, a few years ago, I felt stuck in a rut and I didn’t know what to do so I went on Eventbrite to find nearby events and bought a ticket for a poetry night. Little did I know that buying that ticket would change my life forever!

No exaggeration, it was one of the best things I did. It reignited a love for poetry, community and authenticity. Life no longer existed in a monotonous grey instead it was spattered with vibrant colours, textures and feelings. It was beautiful.

From that day, I started writing poetry again and then tried my hand at art and then moved on to music. There was so much to learn about life, and each time I tried something new it added fuel to my curiosity fire.

My life finally stopped being on autopilot.

So this is your sign to lean into the uncertainty

Go to an event
Read a book
Get a massage
Invite a friend to dinner
Host a games night
Sign up for a dance class
Attend a paint-and-sip night

The options are endless. Remember, LIFE IS FOR LIVING!

how to stop living life on autopilot -Try digital minimalism

Nowadays, most people waste away their day (and life) endlessly scrolling on social media. Social media is designed to be addictive so before you know it 5 minutes has turned into an accumulated 5 hours a day!

Check your screen time right now. Yes, right now.

How many hours have you wasted away this week on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Reddit, Facebook and Twitter (also known as X)?

Think about all of the other things you could have done with that time. Remember, time is a LIMITED RESOURCE once it’s gone you can’t get it back.

Intentional living means that you choose activities that enhance your wellbeing and are in alignment with your values-based goals.

I’m not saying cut out social media completely (I do recommend regular social media detoxes) but I am saying that you should aim to significantly reduce your social media consumption if you want to stop living life on autopilot.

Track how many hours you spend on social media
Notice any triggers (e.g. travelling, when upset, before bed etc…)
Figure out the need that social media is meeting (e.g. validation, approval, connection, personal growth etc…)
Identify alternatives: e.g. a book, a word search, a podcast
Set app limits on your phone and computer
Add downtime restrictions
Get an accountability buddy

If you are serious about cutting down on your screen time in general then I highly recommend that you read Cal Newport’s book on ‘Digital Minimalism’.

Personally, I found digital minimalism to be an important step in helping me to stop living life on autopilot. In fact, I wrote a whole blog post talking about it!

How to stop living life on autopilot - Get a life coach

7. Get a life coach to stop living life on autopilot

If you would like some accountability and help navigating your journey then I recommend you hire a life coach. A life coach will help you clarify your values, goals and aspirations using a variety of different techniques.

If you decide to work with a life coach, make sure you do your research! Find out what qualifications and experience they have while also ensuring that their values align with your values.

A life can fast-track your journey to getting off of autopilot mode and living a more intentional life so it is worth the expense!

Since you’ve made it this far down the article, let me introduce myself.

Hey, my name is Teresa and I am a Mindset and Productivity Coach specialising in Values Based Living and Digital Minimalism.

In my signature coaching programme ‘Life by Intentional Design’ I help high-achieving men and women move from feeling stuck with life to feeling empowered and in control. I can help you stop living life on autopilot and start living an intentional values-based life.

I am a big believer in healthy non-toxic productivity and everything I teach my clients is based on research and my own personal and professional experience.

As well as being a Coach, I am also a PRINCE2 Practitioner and APM-accredited Project Manager so trust me I KNOW about organisation and productivity.

If you would like to find out more check out my Services page!

Book Recommendations to stop you living life on autopilot

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
Deep Work by Cal Newport
Think Like a Monk – Jay Shetty
Atomic Habits – James Clear
7 habits of highly effective people – Stephen R. Covey

Drop a comment down below if you have any questions or drop me an email at teresa@thevaluedlife.co.uk

Check out these related posts to help you stop living life on autopilot

Spread the love

How to stop living life on autopilot – 7 game-changing steps

Well, I’m happy to say you have come to the right place!

What does living life on autopilot mean?

Are you living life on autopilot?