The Healthy Striving Mindset: How to Stay Ambitious and Keep Your Peace
The healthy striving mindset is the reason why successful people, like Jeff Bezos and Arianna Huffington, can sustain their ambition for a long period of time.
They don’t let perfectionism keep them stuck in cycles of go-go-go and burnout because they know that adopting a healthy approach towards ambition and productivity is what’s going to keep them at the top.
As a Mindset and Productivity Coach for perfectionists, I am always encouraging my clients to redefine their definition of success and learn how to develop a habit of putting consistent effort into the tasks that move the needle forward.
No more burnout, no more anxiety and no more productivity shame.
In this article, I discuss the pros and cons of ambition, while redefining it and help you learn how to develop a healthy striving mindset.
What is ambition?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, ambition is simply “a strong wish to achieve something”. And that ”something” could be anything like getting happily married, becoming a CEO or writing a book.
However, for many of us, when we think of ambitious people we associate them solely with professional achievement and prestigious accolades—personal ambition doesn’t really cross our minds. Dictionary.com, for example, describes ambition as “an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction” often tied to fame, power, or wealth.
A study by Judge and Kammeyer-Mueller (2012), set out to find the true definition of ambition, which turned out to be a lot harder than it looked, since ambition, as it turns out, is a multi-faceted concept that spans across all areas of life.
The main points were that ambition is not just about prestigious titles but rather a persistent motivation to pursue goals, maintain high standards and achieve success.
“Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you.” — Michelle Obama
The Myth of All-or-Nothing Ambition
With the rise of hustle culture, so many of us associate ambition with the rise-and-grind mentality—working from the moment your head lifts up from the pillow—and think that you must have a superhuman level of drive and discipline to succeed.
In this BBC article, professor Heejung Chung explains, “People adhered to the idea that you must devote yourself only to work and sacrifice everything outside of it.”
And that is such a shame because despite this narrative the research actually shows that ambition doesn’t need to be an all-or-nothing way of life. All-or-nothing thinking about anything is already such an unhealthy concept, with psychologists describing it as a ‘cognitive distortion’ with thoughts ‘not based on facts’.
Studies have shown that people who treat ambition as an all-consuming pursuit are more likely to burn out and experience chronic stress, anxiety and even depression due to the unrealistic standards they set themselves.
I want to break the myth that ambition = hustle. It doesn’t. Healthy ambition means you desire to achieve your goals consistently, sustainably, and with strategies that support your well-being.
Even Jeff Bezos emphasised prioritising wellbeing in a Thrive Global article, explaining how he ensures he gets 8 hours of sleep each night. Similarly, Steven Bartlett put it bluntly on LinkedIn: “Health is the foundation of productivity.”
Is ambition good or bad for perfectionists?
Well, ambition itself is a neutral good—it just depends on how you use it and what mindset is driving it. For example, if you have big goals and actively take steps to work towards them without burning yourself out in the process, that’s healthy ambition.
But if your ambition feels like pressure and you are constantly overwhelmed with the weight of expectations and standards you place on yourself, then it may be doing more harm than good.
This is why people stuck in perfectionistic cycles of procrastination, all-or-nothing thinking, fear of failure and harsh criticism tend to struggle the most with achieving their goals.
In fact, a study by Stoeber & Gaudreau (2017) found that ambition driven by high standards for personal growth is linked to positive experiences whereas, ambition driven by ‘perfectionist concerns’ leads to stress and burnout.
So for perfectionists, shifting your mindset from rigid standards and fear to one of healthy striving and self-compassion can make all the difference.
“There is no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.” — Ziad K. Abdelnour
What’s the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism?
Healthy striving is all about setting goals based on your values and a genuine internal desire for personal growth. It’s focused on what you want to achieve and how you want to show up every day while working on your goals. It has nothing to do with others’ expectations.
At its core, it aligns with having a growth mindset—believing that sustained effort, learning from mistakes and embracing challenges—is the key to success.
Perfectionism, however, involves setting unrealistic standards, having a big fear of failure, being overly self-critical, and tying your self-worth to your achievements (academic, professional and/or status).
In a perfectionist mindset, you never feel good enough and you always feel like you need to prove your worth to yourself and others which is emotionally and physically draining. Over time, it erodes your self-worth and leaves you feeling like a shell of yourself.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.'” — Mary Anne Radmacher
Examples of healthy striving vs perfectionism
I have created some simple but realistic examples to show you the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism. Most of the examples are very common situations I see with my clients (and past self).
Both Mary and Gina are project managers.
Mary sets realistic timelines and plans for setbacks and focuses on delivering the project within the scheduled time and budget without obsessing over minor details. She delegates when necessary and works with her team to find solutions to risks and issues.
Mary trusts her team and acknowledges that she is working with highly skilled subject matter experts so her role is to get the best out of them. She takes on 1 CPD course a quarter and enjoys the learning process.
Gina creates rigid timelines with very little room for error and she feels personally responsible when things don’t go to plan. She stresses out over minor imperfections and ruminates over problems with the project.
She’s scared of appearing incompetent so she double-checks everyone’s work and feels anxious if her team doesn’t do things her exact way, even minor things. She overcommits to a variety of CPD courses and certifications and feels like a failure when she is unable to juggle them alongside her job and personal life.
Can you tell which one is the healthy striver?
Which person do you relate to more?
I can honestly tell you that I’ve definitely been both, Mary and Gina, at some point in my project management career so there is no shame if you identify with the perfectionist mindset.
The first step towards healing is self-awareness.
Shift your mindset
If you want to start shifting your mindset from being perfectionistic to healthy striving then there are a few things you should do. I’ve kept the list quite simple so that you can effectively implement them into your routine but if you want more comprehensive guidance check out my Perfectionism 101 page.
1. Recognise the cost of perfectionism
The first towards healing is self-awareness which means you need to acknowledge that the way you have been living your life is not working for you any more.
You need to write down a list of specific examples of how perfectionism has impacted you mentally, spiritually, professionally and emotionally. For example, have you experienced any of these things due to your perfectionism:
- Burnout
- Anxiety
- Chronic stress
- Unhealthy eating
- Insomnia
- Procrastination
- Missed opportunities
- Poor relationships
- Lack of self-care
- Depression
Be really honest with yourself and remind yourself fo this list whenever you feel your perfectionism creeping in. Think about how painful these experiences are and why letting go of your current mindset is the only way forward.
As Albert Einstein famously said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
2. Focus on effort and consistency
Focus your attention on how you show up for yourself every single day. You need to embed self-care into your daily routine without fail—it is, categorically, a non-negotiable.
Pick one small thing that you’re going to do each day that promotes your wellbeing and will help you maintain consistency in achieving your goals. For example,
- Going to bed a the same time every day
- Reading 10 pages of a non-fiction book
- Doing 5 minutes of yoga
- Writing 1 page in your journal
- Setting 1 daily intention
- Logging all tasks in your bullet journal
There are so many small things you can do but I recommend you pick one thing and focus on doing that activity as diligently as possible. Realistically, shifting your mindset takes a lot of time so you might as well embrace the process of learning how to put consistent effort in one task at a time.
“It’s not about being the best. It’s about being better than you were yesterday.” — Unknown
3. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion
To counter your negative self-critical perfectionist thoughts, you need to practice mindfulness and self-compassion. Try to start your day with 5 minutes of deep breathing while making an effort to acknowledge, but not judge, the thoughts that pop into your mind.
Always try to bring your focus back to your breath.
I also recommend you pick 1 or 2 affirmations to repeat to yourself in the morning, evening and throughout the day whenever a negative thought pops up. The goal is to reframe your thoughts and create a new reality.
Check out my Inspiration Page to choose from a range of affirmations suitable for your needs. But for now, you can start with simple affirmations like:
- I don’t need to prove my worth in order to be good enough
- It’s okay to make mistakes because it means I am learning
- I believe in my capacity to develop new skills
4. Set values-driven goals
Take some time to figure out your top 3-5 core values in life. To do this you need to ask yourself some potentially challenging but deep questions about the type of person you want to be and what is important for you to feel fulfilled in life.
For example:
- What activities bring you the most joy in life?
- What qualities do you admire most in others?
- What issues or causes are you most passionate about?
- What do you spend most of your time thinking about or doing?
- If you had to teach a class on one thing, what would it be and why?
- What would you regret not doing, being or having in your life?
You can download a FREE Values Over Perfection workbook to help you figure it out more comprehensively.
Once you know what your values are, you can evaluate your goals against them and decide what ones you should keep, amend or completely abandon because it’s not relevant to the life you want to live.
For each goal, make sure you link it to your values and state why it’s important.
“Your goal should be just out of reach, but not out of sight.” — Denis Waitley
5. Celebrate your wins
Perfectionists really struggle with acknowledging their small wins because they are always in a lack mindset which means they never feel good enough because they never reach a point where they feel like they have ‘made it’.
This is why you should add a section to your notebook/journal solely for celebrating your small wins every day. They can be as simple as not snoozing your alarm clock, finishing a task on your to-do list or setting a boundary.
6. Define your Minimum Viable Product (MVP)
When you’re starting a new project, I highly recommend you lay out what the absolute minimum viable product/outcome is for it to be deemed completed.
And I mean minimum, the bare bones, no frills attached.
Then, break down your project into smaller chunks and chip away at it every day. Don’t worry about the end product, just focus on moving the needle forward.
Aim for the MVP and then you can edit from there.
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.” — Salvador Dalí
Signs you’re in a healthy striving mindset
- You focus on putting effort into your tasks consistently without feeling the need to overwork
- You set and implement boundaries with your coworkers, managers and family
- You prioritise self-care without feeling guilty
- You don’t ruminate on your mistakes and instead try to see how you can learn from them
- Your goals are realistic but still challenging
- You feel motivated but not pressured to achieve your goals
- You like who you are, what you’ve achieved and how you show up in the world
“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” — Confucius
10 Journal prompts for a healthy ambitious mindset
- What does success look like for me without taking into account other people’s opinions?
- Am I being driven by passion or fear and how do I know the difference?
- List out at least 5 things perfectionism is costing you in your personal and professional life
- Are there any areas in your life where you feel like you are constantly having to ‘prove yourself’?
- Are you living a life that aligns with your values? If not, what needs to change?
- How can you reframe a recent mistake as a learning opportunity?
- Describe what you imagine life with a healthy striving mindset to look and feel like
- Rate 1(not kind at all)-5 (very kind) how kind you are to yourself daily.
- Do you know what it feels like to consistently and steadily put in effort into tasks or do you go through cycles of go-go-go and burnout?
- How can you incorporate more mindfulness and mind-body connection into your life?
Do you have a healthy striving mindset?
So, do you identify as having a healthy striving mindset or a perfectionist one? Either way, this article has provided you with a comprehensive breakdown of the difference between the two and practical steps on how to overcome perfectionism and achieve your goals without burnout.
Switching from being a perfectionist to someone who has healthy high standards and a striving mentality changed my life. Professionally, I’ve grown to heights that I never thought I could even dream of and in my personal life, I am healthier, happier and well-connected with like-minded people.
Ambition isn’t a bad thing. I think we should all strive to be ambitious and reach our full potential because great things can happen. But the drive towards hustle culture is going to be the downfall of us all only if we let it.
And we won’t let it.
Join the community of recovering perfectionists healing from hustle-culture
If you would like to receive productivity and self-development tips designed specifically for perfectionists PLUS exclusive coaching offers join my weekly newsletter ‘The Sunday Reset’.
Remember, you are the ONLY person you are going to be with for your whole entire life, so you might as well invest in yourself.
Investing in yourself can be in the form of coaching, courses, reading, journaling, practising self-care and many more things.
Related Posts
- 31 Powerful Daily Affirmations For Ambition
- 15 Impactful Traits of Ambitious People That Drive Their Success
- Your Worth Isn’t Measured by How Hard You Push Yourself
- Are You Holding On to Tasks That You Should Delegate?
- You Don’t Have To Do It All On Your Own – It’s Okay To Delegate
- 5 Hassle-Free Steps To Setting Values-Driven Goals (+Free Workbook)
- 8 Areas In Life To Set Goals With 100 Examples (FREE Workbook)
- Perfectionism vs High Standards — Are You Pushing Yourself Too Far?
