7 Easy Ways For Perfectionists To Increase Their Self-Awareness

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If you’re a perfectionist looking to increase your self-awareness, you’ve come to the right place.

Maybe you’re the high achiever who climbed up the corporate career ladder using your perfectionism as fuel to push you closer towards success only to realise that it could only get you so far in your career before it started to hold you back.

For example, you’re scared to let go of control and your fear of failure keeps you overworking yourself to burnout.

Or maybe, you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum. Your perfectionism keeps you stuck feeling helpless in your comfort zone, never really reaching your full potential.

Either way, this blog post will help you learn how to increase your self-awareness so that you can live a life in alignment with your true values and not let perfectionism keep you stuck.

Table of Contents

Why is self-awareness important for perfectionists?

If you’re a perfectionist who wants to heal and thrive in the world, you’re going to need to increase your self-awareness significantly.

You will need to learn how to understand your thoughts, feelings and behaviours so that you can identify the areas in your life where your perfectionism is helpful or harmful.

Perfectionists often overcommit to tasks, struggle to let go of control, and go through cycles of go-go-go and burnout which prevent them from excelling in their careers and relationships.

I know MANY of my clients often stay in jobs much longer than they need to because they don’t feel good enough and feel like they owe their employer something. This often leads to work becoming their whole life and resentment building up because they end up doing the job of 2 or 3 people.

That is why self-awareness is KEY.

You need to be regularly checking in with your needs and emotions so that you can set boundaries in place that protect you.
You need to challenge the limiting beliefs that you are not good enough the moment those self-critical thoughts pop up
You need to learn how to celebrate your wins and reframe obstacles as challenges you can learn from

The only way you’re going to start your healing perfectionism journey is by increasing your self-awareness. It is literally the FIRST STEP. The ultimate unskippable step in healing.

signs you need to improve your self-awareness

11 signs you are not as self-aware as you think you are

I’m not going to lie to you, healing is HARD!

You need to be willing to be brutally honest, confront uncomfortable truths and make a commitment to change that’s easier said than done. Increasing your self-awareness can be a painful experience for some people.

If you’re a perfectionist, your fear of failure, high standards, need for control and avoidance of discomfort will keep you in the dark for many years which means you won’t seek help until you hit rock bottom…

I’ve seen it time and again – perfectionists reaching a complete breaking point, realising they can’t keep living on autopilot, trapped in cycles of go-go-go and burnout.

They realise they can’t keep living life the way they have always been living and the thought of things continuing the same way for the rest of their lives is unbearable.

Luckily for them, that’s where I come in!

Here are some signs you lack self-awareness as a perfectionist:

You hardly reflect on your behaviour or thoughts
Life feels like it’s been on autopilot
You don’t know your personal values
You struggle to identify your emotions
Blaming others is your default response to mistakes (e.g. manager, coworker, friend etc..)
Constructive feedback feels like a personal attack
Your words and actions don’t match up
Uncertainty gives you anxiety so you try to control everything
You are chronically indecisive
You struggle to communicate your needs and expect others to automatically know
You fail to set boundaries which results in overcommitting and burning out

Recognise any of these signs? Don’t worry, as I have said before, self-awareness is the first step so congratulations on becoming more self-aware!

Here are 7 straightforward ways perfectionists can increase their self-awareness:

1. Journaling

This is probably the most common suggestion for increasing your self-awareness so I thought I would put it first so we can get it out the way!

Yes, journaling will help you increase your self-awareness.

However, I admit I used to roll my eyes whenever someone would suggest journaling as if it was some kind of magical cure for all my life’s troubles.

The truth is, it’s not magic but it is incredibly informative. Over time, you will get to know yourself in an intimate way and you’ll start to notice patterns in your thinking and behaviour.

I recommend that you try to journal good AND bad days. Don’t only focus on offloading your negative thoughts because then you’ll associate journaling as an activity to do when you’re feeling down.

Try to keep journaling a neutral experience. Use it to reflect on your thoughts, feelings and experiences good and bad without judgment.

Use journal prompts if you are struggling to find things to write about.

Your journal is a safe space for you to build a healthy relationship with yourself.

increase self-awareness by using mindfulness

2. Mindfulness

Yes, I’m still talking about mindfulness in another blog post and NO I will not apologise for it.

Look, mindfulness is a great tool for increasing self-awareness, reducing stress levels and boosting productivity. It is a secret weapon especially for perfectionists so I will preach about it until it resonates with the masses.

If you’re serious about improving your self-awareness, you will need to practise being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgement.

Mindful techniques such as meditation can help you get a deeper understanding of yourself.

It’s great for perfectionists because it will help you to stop ruminating on all the things you haven’t ticked off your to-do list and it’ll also stop you from worrying about the future. Win-win.

If meditation is not your thing, there are many other ways you can incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. For example,

Mindful eating
Mindful walking
Mindful cooking
Mindful journaling
Mindful body scan

By incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine, you can increase your self-awareness, enhance your ability to regulate your emotions and develop a greater sense of peace and contentment in your life.

3. Get feedback from others

Now it’s time to seek out honest feedback from your trusted friends, family members and colleagues. Their feedback can be really helpful in identifying your strengths, weaknesses and blindspots.

They may also offer different perspectives on your behaviours, attitudes and interactions which is a great way to help you deepen your self-awareness.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

If you decide to ask someone in your circle for feedback, it is important that you approach it with an open mind and a willingness to listen.

Don’t try to be defensive or over-explain your behaviour because you will make things worse. If you don’t fully understand the feedback someone has given you, ask specific questions to clarify areas for improvement.

After seeking feedback, take time to reflect in your journal. Consider:

Did anything surprise you?
Were there any recurring themes?
How did hearing the feedback make you feel?
Are there aspects of yourself you would like to understand better?

Reflecting on the feedback experience can provide further insights and help you increase your self-awareness and grow as a person.

4. Read books

I’m a big non-fiction book nerd – I LOVE reading. I just find it so interesting learning about the human mind and random things about the world we live in.

Reading books on self-awareness, psychology and self-development will help you expand your understanding of yourself.

To be honest, some of my biggest mindset shifts have been triggered by the pages inside of a well-thought-out book.

Don’t knock it until you try it.

If you don’t like reading for whatever reason, then I recommend you listen to audiobooks instead! It’s the same information however, now you can listen to it on the go or while you’re tackling chores.

Here are some of my book recommendations for self-awareness:

“Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown: Brené Brown shares how embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and greater resilience.
“The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk: Bessel van der Kolk explains how trauma affects the body and mind, offering insights into healing and resilience.
“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers: Susan Jeffers provides practical advice for overcoming fear and self-doubt to pursue personal growth.
“How to Do the Work” by Nicole LePera: Nicole LePera offers holistic tools for healing past wounds, breaking free from self-limiting beliefs, and living authentically.

These books offer straightforward guidance to help you increase your self-awareness and improve your mindset.

Related Post: The Ultimate Book Recommendations

personality assessments for self-awareness

5. Personality assessments

Take personality assessments such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the Enneagram or the Big Five personality traits to gain deeper insights into your strengths, weaknesses and behavioural tendencies.

I’ve PERSONALLY (*cough cough* because I know some people will argue about this) found the MBTI really helpful in understanding myself. In fact, from my teenage years to adulthood, I’ve taken the test multiple times, and guess what? I’ve landed on the same type every single time: INFP! (The best type of course).

Give it a go and let me know what type you received.

By identifying your unique personality profile, you can gain a deeper understanding of how you interact with the world and others, allowing you to make more informed decisions and greater self-awareness.

6. Regular reviews/check-ins

I highly encourage you to regularly review your progress and check in with yourself as you go on this healing journey.

Set aside dedicated time – whether it’s weekly, monthly or quarterly to reflect on your goals, values and experiences.

During these moments, take stock of what working well and what could be improved, making adjustments as needed.

It’s so easy for perfectionists to get caught up in the rat race, chasing goal after goal which is why it’s important for you to pause and reflect on your wins and learning experiences.

These regular reviews provide you with an opportunity for self-reflection and course correction, helping you stay in alignment with your values.

It is an amazing way to break free from autopilot mode and start living a more intentional life. Remember, your worth is NOT defined by what you achieve, but rather by your values and how you decide to show up in the world.

Personally, I find using a bullet journal to be an effective tool for accountability and increasing my self-awareness.

7. Challenge your stories

Our minds love to play tricks on us, telling us stories about ourselves and the world we live in.

However, a lot of the time, these stories can be limited or distorted, holding us back from reaching our full potential.

If you’re a perfectionist, you probably have a very self-critical internal narrative telling you that you’re not doing enough, you’re a failure and/or you need to keep trying harder.

It’s important to spend time challenging these stories by investigating the limiting beliefs and questioning their validity.

Are your limiting beliefs based on facts or are they just stories you’ve been telling yourself?

I’m sure if you sat down and wrote a list of evidence countering the limiting belief that you’re not good enough, you’d find AT LEAST 3 things.

By adopting a curious and questioning mindset, you can challenge your negative self-talk, reframe unhelpful narratives and develop a more resilient mindset.

You have the power to rewrite your story and create a new narrative that aligns with your values and goals.

You don’t have to be a prisoner of your own mind anymore and self-awareness will help you unlock your full potential. No more excuses, no more blaming others, no more sacrifices, no more victim mindset.

You can break free!

I hope you enjoyed these 7 self-awareness tips for perfectionists

If you would like more comprehensive support, personalised guidance and accountability, I recommend you sign up for my 1:1 coaching services.

As a Mindset and Productivity Coach, I’m here to help you navigate your challenges, celebrate your successes and uncover the limiting beliefs holding you back from achieving your goals. I will also work with you to create a mindful productivity system that is aligned with your personal values and stops you from feeling overwhelmed.

It’s time to untangle your self-worth from your achievements and live an intentional life without burnout and the only way to do that is to increase your self-awareness.

Remember, investing in yourself is one of the most valuable commitments you can make in life.

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7 Easy Ways For Perfectionists To Increase Their Self-Awareness