The Ultimate Guide To Self-Care Solo Dates

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This guide will cover everything you NEED to know to have the best self-care solo dates ever. No more self-consciousness, no more worries, just good vibes.

Not feeling good enough and pushing past boundaries are key features of perfectionism and as a Mindset and Productivity Coach for Perfectionists, this is something that I’m always working on.

I’m always encouraging my clients to practice self-care and take themselves out on solo dates so that they can learn how to feel good enough.

This article covers steps to mentally prepare for a solo date, get over any awkwardness and how to ACTUALLY plan for it successfully.

Woman In Gray Sweater drinking in a coffee shop by herself as a self-care solo dates

Table of Contents

What is a self-care solo date?

A self-care solo date is about intentionally spending time connecting with yourself.

Simply put, you take yourself out on a date. No more waiting for someone else to come along and treat you right. You treat yourself right by doing the things you want to do when you want to do it with no hidden agenda. It’s all about showing yourself love and attention!

It’s time spent that allows you to build intimacy with your own thoughts and feelings while putting your own needs first.

Self-care solo dates can be anything from enjoying a meal at your favourite restaurant to sitting quietly with your journal sipping on some tea.

It really doesn’t have to be a big event if you don’t want it to be. You can just do whatever you want to do without any stress or pressure e.g. going to a painting class or reading a book at home. As long as you’re ACTUALLY doing something you WANT to do and not doing it because you think you should be doing an act of Instagrammable ‘self-care’.

It’s some much-needed ME Time.

Reasons why you SHOULD date yourself

At the end of the day, you are the only person you’re guaranteed to spend your whole entire life with. So, why not treat yourself like the most important person in your life?

Here’s why dating yourself will change your life:

You stop avoiding yourself: you’ll face your emotions and thoughts, instead of running from them
Feel more grounded: you’ll be able to connect with your true self and feel more aligned in your mind and body
Boost your energy: you’ll recharge your energy levels by doing energy-giving activities
Reduce stress: helps you unwind, and relax and lowers your stress levels
Raise your standards: you’ll expect more from yourself and others because you have set the bar high for how you want to be treated
Celebrate your wins: you get the chance to reflect on and celebrate your achievements
Clear your thoughts: helps you process your feelings and clear mental clutter
Align with your values: you can focus on what truly matters to you without distractions
Your inner child will thank you: you get to do something fun and carefree without worrying about what other people think. It’s time to explore your creative side!

By dating yourself, you’re investing in a relationship that will last a lifetime and what more could you ask for?

HOW to ACTUALLY date yourself

So unsurprisingly, dating yourself is more than just blocking out time in your calendar and calling it a day. It’s about showing yourself love, care, and attention in practical ways that recharge and rebuild your self-esteem.

You need to start by believing in your self-worth. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything in order to be worthy enough to practice self-care. So, make an effort to remind yourself that you deserve kindness and love. You can use simple affirmations like “I am enough” or “I deserve this time for myself” to help you shift your mindset.

I recommend you pick 3 affirmations to say every day and make an effort to repeat them throughout your day. You can set reminders on your phone to help you.

Your ideal solo date doesn’t just happen out of nowhere, you need to visualise it. Imagine what it feels like, think about what you want to see and what you want to do. Is it a mindful walk in your local park, going to the cinema, or wandering through an art gallery? Make a list of activities that excite you and pick one for your next date with yourself.

Boundaries, boundaries boundaries! Setting clear boundaries is ESSENTIAL for actually having a successful solo date. You need to treat your alone time as a non-negotiable calendar event that can’t be rescheduled or shorted. It is an important commitment to yourself so you must treat it like that.

Lastly, speak kindly to yourself. You’re doing this for you and you don’t have to be perfect in order to have a break or treat yourself. If you catch yourself having self-critical thoughts, pause and reframe them with compassion. Would you speak to a friend that way? If not, don’t speak to yourself that way either. Treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others.

Adding these simple practices to your routine is the first building block to actually having a successful solo-date.

How to stop feeling awkward/uncomfortable about it

First of all, it’s completely normal to feel a bit (or very) awkward or uncomfortable when you first start dating yourself but remember, this is for you and NOBODY else.

I remember being SO self-conscious the first time I ate in a restaurant by myself but now, I truly don’t care because I’m there to EAT. If someone is going to judge me for going to a restaurant by myself it says more about them and nothing about me. There is no point worrying about what other people think because their opinions are irrelevant and my only goal is to focus on the experience I am having.

Trust me, the more you do it, the less self-conscious you will feel.

Here’s how to push past awkward feelings:

every time you feel uncomfortable, shift your focus. Tell yourself, “I’m doing this because I deserve to feel happy and connected with myself.”
build up your confidence slowly by going on smaller dates like to Starbucks or your local park
Sometimes feeling awkward is just part of the process so instead of avoiding it, lean into it. Remind yourself that you’re growing and stepping outside your comfort zone, which is a powerful thing
Resist the urge to use your phone as a crutch. Don’t do it! Being present with yourself is the whole point, and you’ll feel more confident over time once you get over the discomfort
Give yourself credit for going on a solo date. Eventually, your feelings of awkwardness will turn into empowerment because YOU DID THAT!

Doing these things will help shift your mindset away from worrying about what other people think and bring it towards your own needs.

How to plan out the perfect solo date

You need to make yourself a priority so that means you need to make an effort to plan out your solo self-care date. It doesn’t need to be a big event but it should be intentional.

For me intentional means dedicating time and doing things that recharge me. Sometimes that looks like blocking off a Saturday to go on a solo day trip to an unknown location. On the day of the trip, I’ll just pick somewhere and go.

Here are some things you should do:

Pick a day and stick to it: schedule your solo date just like any other important commitment, and DON’T let anything take its place
Tell someone for accountability: If you struggle to prioritise yourself, tell a (supportive) friend or family member about it and ask them to hold you accountable
Choose an activity that excites you: do you want to relax, have fun, or try something new? Make sure you pick something that meets your current needs
Do something you’ve always wanted: go watch that movie that none of your friends want to watch and try out that new restaurant! DO IT because you want to!
Plan ahead: Try to reserve time for a solo date at least once a month. Putting it on your calendar in advance helps make sure it actually happens.

pinterest pin with a table of self-care solo date ideas

Simple Self-Care Solo Date Ideas

For Self-Compassion and Mindfulness

Walk through a public garden
Journaling session
Yoga
Meditation class
Spa day
Massage
Guided mindfulness session
Sound bath

For Creative Expression

Paint and sip
Scrapbooking
Photography mission
Cooking or baking
Poetry writing
Craft project
Candle making
Pottery class
DIY home décor project

For Adventure

Find a new walking route
Day trip to a new town
Hiking
Geocaching
Trampolining
GoApe adventure park
Go-karting
Paintballing
Ziplining

For Cute and Cosy Vibes

Movie marathon
Build a fort
Reading by candlelight
Puzzle night
Long bath with candles
DIY mani-pedi
Hot chocolate and a cosy blanket
Knitting or crocheting

For Fun

Virtual escape room
Solo dance party
Learn a new dance move
Karaoke at home
Cinema marathon
Try roller skating or ice skating
Mini-golf
Make your own pizza night

For the Culture

Visit a museum or art gallery
Walking tour of a historic site
Cooking class with a cultural twist
Virtual concert or exhibition
Prayer night at a peaceful location
Glam night out at the theatre or concert
Fancy meal at a restaurant
Wine tasting event
Private members club experience
Photoshoot in a scenic location
Visit a flower show or botanical garden

Top tips for successfully dating yourself

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

I know, I know, I know, it’s easier said than done but it’s so worth it to have that mindset.

Remember, solo dates are meant to be fun and enjoyable, so let go of any self-imposed pressure and just be present in the moment.

It’s also important to keep in mind that no one is paying as much attention to you as you think they are. Most people are more focused on their own lives and dramas so there’s no need to worry about how you appear to others.

Just focus on your experience and have a good time.

So are you going to treat yourself to a solo self-care date?

Now you know HOW to go on a solo self-care date and WHAT activities you can do, you are more than equipped to take yourself out on an amazing date.

It might feel a bit awkward at first especially if you’ve never done anything like that before but it’s SO WORTH IT for your mental health, wellbeing and self-confidence.

The more you do it, the more you raise your standards for how other people will treat you because you treat yourself so well.

Remember not to let your perfectionism get in the way. Things don’t have to go to plan, just focus on the time you’re spending with yourself and have fun!

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